Post-racial America? Not so fast...

I have heard a lot of people talking about a post racial America. Never in my lifetime had I thought we reached that point in this country when I saw a black man take the oath of office. One of my friends, after a long conversation, changed my mind on that.

So you know, I am a white man in middle America. So please take my thoughts with that in mind, but know that I have thought long and hard and feel strongly about this.

My friend, Tami, is a black woman and, as she tells it, lives her life everyday with some sort of racism. She is closely connected to issues surrounding race because of her job. She has a pretty good pulse on the issue. She acknowledges that things are better and have changed. But there is still a ways to go in being called a post-racial America. She was raised in the Midwest in a middle class environment. So, she feels this is not exclusive to any class.

I don't want this to sound like I have a friend that is black and therefore it applies to every situation. It doesn't. But I know, because of who she is and what she does, this is not something that just applies to her.

I think we need to look at the connotation of racism. We need to seek to redefine that connotation. When someone hears the word racism it often conjures up thoughts of horrific behaviors like lynching, burning crosses and the like. What people don't think of is a black person is looking for a job a black person may have to think about how they wear their hair. Will they have to straighten it instead of wearing it as it comes naturally out of their head. They have to worry about being perceived as not wearing their hair "nice enough."

My friend referred to racism this way in her blog:

It is covert and institutional. There always was a “silent” aspect of racism, separate from the lurid images broadcast nationwide during the civil rights movement. A lot of that racism still exists even though black folks can sit in the front of the bus now, but it is a racism that is hard to explain to someone who does not experience it.

Everyone lives their life with some sort of prejudice (which is maybe how we should refer to modern day racism). We all have conscious and even subconscious thoughts that make us react to people in different ways. We may be looking through a stack of resumes and see a name that sounds black, Malik or Aaliyah and put those aside. In fact, there have been studies to prove this. Not that there was any intention to do so, but that person had some sort of subconscious prejudice. Therefore, a black person must think about what they are doing and where they are going everyday and figure out how they should react. another example is "driving while black." There are some neighborhoods that a black person must think about going into for they may be pulled over for no other reason than they are black.

I heard you say that your boys have made comments asking if people actually treated others so abhorrently as blacks were treated during the Jim Crow years. I say that in some regards that is good that they are asking those questions because they have not seen that, but I also worry about that, based upon my conversations with my friend. Because racism is not so apparent that many people now believe that it does not exist except in little pockets of stupidity as we see pop up from time to time in the news. In some regards, fortunately it now only happens in pockets, but unfortunately--it happens at all.

Tami referred to modern racism also in her blog:

"Modern racism is like a dull ache:

Being able to only rise so high in the company despite excellent credentials and performance ...a dull ache.

Having your natural kinky hair stared at and pawed by strangers...a dull ache.

Being followed around department stores by security officers...a dull ache.

Worrying about young male loved ones often stopped by police for "driving while black"...a dull ache."

I hope that you will look at some of the things that I have presented here and I truly hope that you will look to make yourself better and think about their thoughts and actions. I think it is time we have a real substantive conversation on race, not the defensive, accusatory conversations of the past.